I Like Monkeys

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad. I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I have them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.

Thought by an anarchist

People think it is a very simple and obvious thing to just manipulate or be manipulated by other people or situations like there ancestors have been doing for over thousands of years though you might think this makes little sense but for a moment listen to and get a glimpse of the truth that it is not we who have been manipulated by others it is we who actually manipulate ourselves and in turn it is our own constrictions which show us the truth that we are not what we seem but a thing which is unexplainable beyond this design and when I say this you may realize that explanation is a human concept and not one which is inherently in the framework of things and fully understanding that the framework does not actually exist will lead you to the realization of the reason and the purpose of your entity or on the other hand it may not . Now what I just said might make no sense to you as the brain will not process this information immediately and by knowing this shall give you the idea how we are bound by the rules of a framework which does not actually exist and has been made by our forefathers who had no knowledge that they were doing something which might impede the success of mankind .I say once again that realize that success is an inherently human condition. By this I do not mean to say that our ancestors were idiots but I am saying that it is very clear that it was inevitably a part of the mind of the early human to constrict and to make rules learning from its surroundings that had their own rules which were there already like a infant who learns from his surroundings and is aware that it is these surroundings which actually make his world and it is here that he has to delve and thus form rules of his own which need to be formed and followed and it is these rules which have now become constrictions and impede the growth of human beings and now instead of truly going ahead we are expanding horizontally finding new avenues in everything already existing and not from something which right now remains undisturbed and undiscovered lets say a new framework for a lack of a better word made from scratch forming a new perspective which may remain in oblivion forever as man has lost that essential thing that had got him here the thing which is called the curiosity of his actual surroundings and not the ones he had constructed the one existing at the moment which inherently has its own rules formed essentially by him and from these rules the mind gets limited and herein lies the problem

God Where Are You?

I lie here, in a waking dream
Picking up the pieces.
My head aches with a silent scream
The darkness around me teases
Do I have what it takes?
To make, a life.
With this question my being shakes
My soul, in endless strife.
I wonder, through the shadow of thought
What shall, I do?
Where are you god?
God where are you?

Maybe I ask the wrong question
The answer to which I seek.
But whose here to give direction?
Whose here, to hear me speak?
To whom do I really ask?
Cause if you are around
Why do you wear a mask?
Why don’t I hear a sound?
Maybe you are in every spot
Oh! I don’t really have a clue
Where are you god?
God where are you?

My time, lives in the past,
The colors they seem to blur.
I seem as if in a cast,
Nothing in me seems to stir.
And I feel so broken,
Beyond sad.
My insides going molten,
The confusion driving me mad
Why do I still plod?
Looking up, into the blue
Where are you god?
God where are you?

Maybe there is an answer,
Maybe there is none.
I see! You are a prankster,
The question is a pun.
The puzzle, I should have realized,
It only seems fair,
The question was to be surmised,
It seems to miss a “there”.
Your ingenuity I must laud
You had me for a fool, its
Where are you, there’s god
Gods there, where are you?

got this from somones profile...its great

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experienceI will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years youll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.Youre not as fat as you imagine. Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Dont be reckless with other peoples hearts, dont put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Dont waste your time on jealousy; sometimes youre ahead, sometimes youre behindthe race is long, and in the end, its only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Dont feel guilty if you dont know what you want to do with your lifethe most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone. Maybe youll marry, maybe you wont, maybe youll have children, maybe you wont, maybe youll divorce at 40, maybe youll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversarywhat ever you do, dont congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either your choices are half chance, so are everybody elses. Enjoy your body, use it every way you candont be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument youll ever own.. Danceeven if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you dont follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when theyll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do youll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Dont expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Dont mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth. But trust me on the sunscreen

I wish (from a child’s soul)

I wish I had wings
So I could fly up high
Maybe, touch the sun

I wish I had lotsa brains
So I could write all day
Ooh! The stories I would have spun

I wish I had beauty
So I could enter a room
Have the power to stun

I wish I could act
So I could star in a movie
Yeah! That would be fun

I wish I had loads of money
So I could help people out
Something I could’ve done

I wish I had extra courage
So I could fight my enemy
Fight em guns

I wish I was really funny
So I could tell alotta jokes
Make people laugh a ton

Oh! But I really do wish
I really really do
I wish I had legs
So I could run